Role Model Wreck-It Ralph
by Etc Flip
Summary: Bad guys aren't supposed to be idols that are looked up to. The way they're programmed kind of defeats that purpose. But hey, whoever said that was the rule, especially for a bad guy who's actually a pretty nice guy? Slight spoilers. Post-movie. One-shot!


**This isn't what I usually write, but I liked the movie so why not.  
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**This movie has successfully distracted me from doing anything productive. Seriously, it was a really sweet movie. So naturally, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and write a small piece in homage of Wreck-It Ralph, inspired by some art I saw. Not sure if the characters are correct, but here we go.**

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_Role Model Wreck-It Ralph_

Bad guys weren't supposed to be looked up to. Heck, bad guys were supposed to be examples of what ordinary video game characters _shouldn't_ be. It was just how they were programmed – their coding set them up as antagonists players had a reason to look forward to fighting against.

Sure, it was all a job to them because being a bad guy didn't necessarily mean you were a _bad_ guy, but the stigma was still there all the same. For Wreck-It Ralph, it had lessened ever since the craziness that had happened in Sugar Rush, which was nice for him.

He got his own house when he returned. That was just the icing on the 64-bit cake though; his honest-to-goodness friends, few as they were, were much better than a simple house, and that wasn't a lie. Still, it was the thought of his mechanic friend that counted, right?

His thoughts were straying, though. Bad guys weren't supposed to be people to look up to, so why did he have someone who thought he was a role model? In fact, he hadn't even noticed anything until-

"Are you sure you're not corrupting that little sugar princess, Wreck-It? Last I checked, little girls didn't yell, 'I'm gonna wreck it!' while they're visiting someone," Sergeant Calhoun said. Never mind the fact that Calhoun was about as much a female as Felix was.

Actually, in Ralph's opinion, out of both Felix and Calhoun... well, he thought that the disciplined Sergeant wore the pants in that relationship.

"Well, she _is_ a president..." Ralph offered, defending his little friend.

"Authority figures need to be well-mannered, Ralph," Felix explained. Authority figures needed to be good guys so that they could set a good example for their subjects. King Candy and Bowser were both carefully shunned from his mind, considering their subjects were – and in Bowser's case, still are – fairly mean jerks.

"Vanellope? Well-mannered?" Ralph guffawed. His little buddy was far too hyper to be well-mannered. It was probably to be expected though since she was from a game named _Sugar Rush_. "I don't really see a problem here, Sergeant."

"Bad guys aren't really the best role models, Wreck-It," Calhoun stated, giving the large man a skeptical expression.

"Oh yeah?" The three video game characters looked to their right, watching as Vanellope von Schweetz cheerily hopped into the penthouse room they were all cooped up in. The door was still open from where she had barged in. "Having a party and not inviting me, Stinkbrain?"

"We just got off work!" Ralph protested. "Besides-" He was cut off by a pleading, wimpy look from Felix and a very, _very_ threatening look from Calhoun. Man, that woman could scare him and he was weighed twice as much as her!

"Besides what, Ralphie?"

"Besides... shouldn't you be more careful with just leaving your game? It's dangerous to go alone, you know." He didn't want anything to happen to his best pal but if anyone asked, it was because he didn't want Vanellope to traumatize any paranoid game characters. She still had her glitchy skills.

"Aw, you know no one's going to bother me. I'd wreck them in a second." She seemed so sure of herself that the giant wrecker burst into laughter, unable to hold his amusement back.

Despite his chortles, Ralph spoke up. "You shouldn't act like I do, kid. You don't exactly have freakishly large arms like I do," he chided, grinning at her.

"You're not as big as Wreck-It is either, sugar princess," Calhoun added. Vanellope glared at her, but the racer's retort was cut off by Felix's sheepish chuckling. Better to prevent their verbal battles before they started.

Vanellope huffed. Ralph smirked at her. "I'm not the greatest role model there is, kid, but I know that you shouldn't try to act like me. You don't want to wreck that sweet presidential suite of yours, right?" It was more like a castle full of gag-inducing pink, but the little racer insisted on calling it a presidential suite.

"Stinkbrain, you acted more like a hero than the Fix-It Fool over there. Why shouldn't I act more like you?"

Ralph cocked his head and rubbed his chin. He was reminded – always, for it was his greatest possession – of the medal the little von Schweetz gave him. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, to know that he had made a difference and that someone accepted him for who he was.

The large wrecker didn't like to admit that, for he wasn't the greatest at openly expressing emotion. He wasn't like Fix-It Felix Jr., who was programmed to be all nice and sensitive.

"You know, she's right, Ralph," Felix helpfully said.

Calhoun hummed in thought to herself before folding her arms over her armored chest. "You could teach her a few things, if she could actually throw her tiny weight around."

"See? Even the Grouch agrees!" Ralph snorted at that.

Ralph looked up at the low-definition ceiling of the penthouse room, wondering how exactly he could teach something that he had been wired to know since being plugged in. Technically, he'd had over thirty years of experience.

"Eh... I don't know, Boogerbrain. Your arms aren't built for wrecking stuff."

Vanellope's eyes lit up as Mary walked in with some cake that she had baked. Despite her stiff movements, she was always happy to serve royalty.

The racer opened her mouth wide and yelled in a faux-deep voice, "I'm gonna eat it!"

Wreck-It Ralph smiled at that phrase, even if it was a tad bit mocking. It was pretty funny and friends did sometimes pick up on each other's habits. He had developed quite a sweet tooth due to his visits to Sugar Rush, chocolate being the exception.

"All right, I guess I'll give a try. Wreck-It Ralph, teacher of little brats who are freakishly annoying," he announced with a shrug.

With a mouth full of food, Vanellope scowled. "Tha' shucks!" she stated. She took a hearty swallow of her chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and said, "Role Model Ralph sounds much better!"

"Role Model Ralph" choked on his food after that comment.


End file.
